Part Deux

over the last few months, a couple of friends have been casually demanding why i've stopped updating my blog. the nearest and dearest would already know that when it's the school term, all my writing energy is exploited by the sometimes painful process of mechanically churning out essays. in the little gaps of time i find that i am free from the shackles of academic commitment, i need a serious holiday from words and sentences. although i'm loving what i pursue, learn and think about at uni, higher education does have the talent of sucking out the joy from literary and cultural studies from time to time. i endeavour to be passionate about it. hell, i think i am for most of the time but like everything else made of flesh, blood, bone and muscle, i get tired. hella tired.

leaving behind (not abandoning! well not in the truest sense of the word) my 4-year old blog and all its confessions is bittersweet. i've never really been good at saying goodbyes and letting go of old things. that's why some of you know that i live like a karanguni, hanging on to material mementos desperately for the sake of memory and nostalgia. but i am rather happy with my decision to start up here. it feels good to begin with a clean slate sometimes. all those thoughts, ideas, opinions, likes, dislikes... confessions of old were essentially me but were made by someone relatively different. now, new dimensions of "i" seem to be popping up like a second wave of adolescence. kinda like pimples. interesting (in a gross, coming-of-age way) and totally unwanted when descended upon in mass and severity. maybe these dimensions have been there all the while but i've only discovered them recently over the past few years. part deux is for me to go on loving, hating, thinking, expressing and being as i tread precariously near a much awaited (read: dreaded) threshold leading to the next phase in adult life. dum dum DUUUUUUUM.

so this is for me, and for the people who have been persistently asking and all those, who in their quiet but genuine ways, were just wondering.